Anger is a powerful emotion. When you feel wronged, perhaps you find yourself swept up by anger and responding in ways that you later regret, whether it’s a hurtful remark in the heat of the moment or seeking retaliation.
Or on the other hand, perhaps you find it difficult to connect with your anger, as you have grown accustomed to pushing it down to avoid stress or conflict. If that’s the case, maybe your internalized anger has contributed to depression or passive-aggressive behavior.
In this article, we will discuss why it’s important to develop a healthy relationship with anger, as opposed to expressing it in destructive or aggressive ways, or suppressing it which can be just as harmful. We will then explore practical strategies for coping with anger constructively.
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The Basics of Anger
Anger exists on a spectrum, ranging from minor irritation to fury and rage. When we feel angry, it is typically in response to feeling as though something is not as it should be.
It is perfectly normal and healthy to experience anger when you feel wronged or witness an injustice. In fact, anger can alert us to an unmet need or changes that need to be made in our lives and in the world.
Anger can be a powerful catalyst for positive change. For this reason, it is essential that we tune into our anger and are receptive to what it could be showing us.
However, many individuals get stuck in unhealthy patterns in relation to anger, whether it’s expressing it in ways that may be destructive in our workplaces and relationships, or suppressing it which can lead to negative outcomes on our mental and physical health.
There is another way. We can learn to engage with our anger in constructive ways and let it propel us forward, without damaging our health or relationships with others.
Also Read: Tips To Avoid And Handle Stress In Your Life
4 Tips for Coping with Anger Constructively
1. Pay attention to how you experience anger
The next time you feel angry, take note of what it’s like for you. How does it feel in your body? What thoughts are running through your mind?
Gaining awareness over what happens when you’re feeling angry can help you to recognize these signs in the future, and take a step back before automatically reacting.
2. Acknowledge the emotions that may be underlying
In our society, we are generally more comfortable with the display of anger than of acknowledging other emotions that may be more difficult to accept- such as shame, fear, hurt, or vulnerability.
If you find yourself experiencing anger, don’t stop there. Take the time and space to explore what other emotions might be lying underneath your anger.
3. Listen to the signal anger is sending you
Tune into the message that anger may be trying to send you. Perhaps your anger is showing you that there is an unmet need in one of your relationships or that there needs to be a new boundary set.
Anger can show us what is most important to us and how we can align our lives according to our needs and values.
Also Read: 4 Common Types of Avoidance Behavior and How to Overcome Them
4. Adopt strategies that can help you to manage anger
To avoid getting stuck in unhealthy patterns of anger, there are various strategies that can be helpful such as identifying cognitive distortions and challenging unhelpful thoughts, practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques, and regular exercise.
It may take trial and error to find what works best for you when it comes to controlling anger at the moment, and continuing to keep anger in check so it does not wreak havoc in your life.
